Hosts With the Most (& Least) Screen Time

If Awards Season were a mystery novel it would be titled The Case of the Disappearing Hosts. With two shows down (Golden Globes & Screen Actors Guild) and two to go (Grammys & Oscars), now’s a good chance to look at the leaders of these three ring circuses. The Globes were hosted by Seth Meyers, the SAGs by Kristen Bell. Both talents are relateable to the viewers at home and don’t instill a sense of dread by the A-Listers seated in front of them, Hollywood’s version of hitting the daily double.

Seth & Kristen both came out and did serviceable but not super edgy monologues to open their shows. Given the tension from the sexual harassment revelations covering Hollywood, we’ll give ’em a pass on playing it safe. But once the monologues were finished they became as invisible as Wonder Woman’s plane! Seth appeared a couple of times to introduce a presenter, and Kristen popped up at a table with her hubby to make an introduction. But that was about it. This is criminal producing (a misdemeanor) and first degree host neglect (a felony).

Disappearing Acts

Within the first hour of the Globes a presenter said they couldn’t make any jokes because the show was already running long. So if there were any skits planned they seem to have been the victim of long acceptance speeches. As for the SAGs, TNT was *really* promoting its new show, The Alienist. A sneek peek was scheduled to run immediately after and they wanted the SAGs to end right at 10 (spoiler alert: didn’t happen). To be fair, the networks only have so much control over the show. They buy the rights to air the celeb lovefest, but the organizations (Hollywood Foriegn Press Association, SAG-AFTRA, etc.) maintain content control. So if the Globes say present 26 awards, the network has to comply.

In the case of the SAGs, this is the first time they’ve ever used a host. But rather than change format to incorporate Bell, they just tried to shove her into a format that isn’t designed to showcase one person.

The Best Is Yet To Come

On the other end of the scale is the Grammys, which will be hosted by James Corden. The Grammys have approximately 647 categories, and only give away about nine gramophones during the actual telecast. James is the Carpool Karaoke King. There is a less than zero chance he will chill in the green room after the opening monologue. Look for lots of audience interaction and recorded bits.

Jimmy Kimmel will round out awards season when he comes back to host the Oscars, a show that’s never known for brevity. It’s even starting 30 minutes earlier this time around. Last year Kimmel brought in a bus load of tourists. And given the way the show ended, he has plenty of material to fill the extra time. So while the first couple hosts from this season have disappeared faster than someone close to Liam Neeson in a Taken movie, we should get more love from the hosts yet to come.

The Critic’s Cocktail Recommendation

A Miller Lite Beer. Like Bell & Meyers, it tastes great but is less filling.

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