Striking Gold: Golden Globes Shockers

A few thoughts on the Golden Globes:

OMG I was bored. Ricky Gervais’ monologue was flat and every joke was predictable. He repeatedly said he didn’t care, and it showed. What’s truly sad is he was still the most interesting part of the show.

The show clocked in at a brisk 3 hours and 12 minutes. It’s like it looked at the Oscars and said ‘hold my drink.’

I loved Rami Youssef’s self-awareness. He’s great. It only got better backstage

Sofia Vergara needs to present at every awards show

Taylor Swift. I love you. Please fire the stylist who put you in that dress

Succession is NOT the best drama on TV. Season 2 was better than the first, but come on

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (OUATIH) is good but not worth slobbering over

Succession and OUATIH both must have thrown über-boozy brunches for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Seriously. The HFPA is retail politics. Like New Hampshire in the presidential primaries. At only about 75 members, everyone meets everyone

Kate McKinnon’s intro to Ellen DeGeneres was amazing

No one gives a speech like Tom Hanks. Cold meds just made it that much better!

CATS deserved every joke made at its expense

Congrats to Laura Dern on Supporting Actress, Marriage Story deserves more

I was hanging on every word of Joaquin Phoenix’s speech, you always feel like he’s one phrase away from going completely off the rails

Patricia Arquette brought the girls to the party, and looked great!

1917 is the clear Oscar frontrunner

Michelle Williams can preach!

Awkwafina deserves every good thing coming to her now and in the future

In true Power Couple fashion, Beyoncé and Jay Z showed up late and, even more impressive, brought their own champagne. Moet was the ceremony’s sponsor, but Jay Z owns Armand de Brignac Champagne, aka Ace of Spades. they made the GGs BYOB

The Critic’s Cocktail Recommendation

Ace of Spades. I took one look at Beyoncé and said ‘I’ll have what she’s having.’


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