It’s time for the Anti-Awards Awards Show, aka: the Grammys. With most shows, if you did a shot every time someone got an award, you’d be drunk quick. At the Grammys you would be lucky to get mildly buzzed. As there are roughly 647 categories, it’d be impossible to present every category during the live show (it’d be almost, but not quite, as long as the Oscars). But the Recording Academy’s excess is met with minimalism by CBS. Last year only nine (9!) statues were given out during the three hour, forty minute show. That’s one every 25 minutes.
A-Lister On A-Lister Action
To fill the gap (besides commercials) the show is stacked with unusual pairings.. with no diva attitude allowed! CBS created the idea of a Grammy Moment, and while it is cheesy, it’s also pretty accurate. Tonight will feature mega pairings including Elton John and Miley Cyrus, Cardi B and Bruno Mars, plus Chris Stapleton and Emmylou Harris.
But the biggest duo of the night will be a couple that collaborated on a megahit, Despacito. During a Cocktail Converstion with record exec and
judge panelist on The Four, Charlie Walk, told us this is the pairing he’s most stoked about. “I’m super excited about Luis Fonsi, Miami of course, Despacito up for song of the year.” But he didn’t stop there. “Luis Fonsi with Daddy Yankee performing the Song of the Decade.” That’s right, song of the decade.” Will Justin Bieber pop up on stage with ’em? Maybe if he’s finishied getting a new tattoo.
Charlie also has a player in the annual Great Grammy Grabfest. “We have Julia Michaels up for Best New Artist and Song of the Year, a song called Issues.”
Going for the Record
Despacito may be the most popular of the Record of the Year nominees, but nothing is a lock. Jay Z’s The Story of OJ is loved in the industry, and never count out Bruno Mars. He’s a Grammy staple and 24K Magic is big. The show also has a history of mad love for Kendrick Lamar, nominated with Humble. Redbone rounds out the category by Childish Gambino. Donald Glover is a producer on this one, and a win here would put him halfway to the EGOT.
Album of the Year goes to the artists, and is a super competitive category as well with a lot of overlap from Record of the Year. Jay Z is up with 4-44, Lamar for Damn, Bruno for 24K Magic and Gambino for Awaken, My Love. Despacito is displaced by Lorde, who’s nominated for Melodrama.
Despacito is back in the Song of the Year category. It’s up against That’s What I Like, 4-44, Issues, and 1-800-273-8255.
The Competition for Pop Solo is tough! Kesha could benefit from the #MeToo movement and get some Grammy love from voters. Kelly Clarkson is a sentimental fave as well. But the top three in the category are Lady Gaga’s Million Reasons, Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, and P!nk’s rockin’ What About Us.
These last few paragraphs took about 20 minutes to write, but will take about two hours to present! But that’s okay, we’ll just keep pouring drinks. And that brings us to…
The Critic’s Cocktail Recommendation
Rolling Rock & Roll Cocktails. Drop a shot glass of R&R (Rich & Rare) Canadian whisky into a pint glass filled with Rolling Rock pale lager and serve.